It's Never Too Late To Start
The Alchemist later became a mega-success. It’s been translated from Portuguese into 80+ languages and it’s spent a record-breaking 400 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.
But Paulo Coelho’s bleak first-experience as a published writer gives me so much hope for not-yet possibilities in my own life now (particularly as someone who writes things).
One of my favorite authors (one of the most influential authors of my time! an author who’s been interviewed by Oprah!) was “forty-one and desperate” before he published his first book; and it was massively unsuccessful and generally ignored for years before anyone started reading it.
That didn’t stop him from writing it or publishing it (twice).
At least once every year I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Usually it’s during a time in my life when I’m craving divine connection to Something Bigger Than Me. (Lately, and throughout the pandemic, it’s all I want to read.)
The Alchemist is the story of Santiago, a shepherd boy, who pursues his Personal Legend across the desert and home again.
The “25th Anniversary Edition” is my favorite, because its Forward begins like this:
“When The Alchemist was first published twenty-five years ago in my native Brazil, no one noticed. A bookseller in the northeast corner of the country told me that only one person purchased a copy the first week of its release. It took another six months for the bookseller to unload a second copy–and that was to the same person who bought the first! And who knows how long it took to sell a third.
By the end of the year, it was clear to everyone that The Alchemist wasn’t working. My original publisher decided to cut me loose and cancelled our contract. They wiped their hands of the project and let me take the book with me. I was forty-one and desperate.”
The Alchemist later became a mega-success. It’s been translated from Portuguese into 80+ languages and it’s spent a record-breaking 400 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.
But Paulo Coelho’s bleak first-experience as a published writer gives me so much hope for not-yet possibilities in my own life now (particularly as someone who writes things).
One of my favorite authors (one of the most influential authors of my time! an author who’s been interviewed by Oprah!) was “forty-one and desperate” before he published his first book; and it was massively unsuccessful and generally ignored for years before anyone started reading it.
That didn’t stop him from writing it or publishing it (twice).
Paulo Coelho says that’s because the story is HIM: “I never lost faith or wavered in my vision. Why? Because it was me in there, all of me, heart and soul.”
And, because “[t]he story of one person is the story of everyone, and one [wo]man’s quest is the quest of all humanity,” we’re still reading and relating to his words decades later.
I think, too, it’s because he was writing from a place of Inspired Trust In Something Big.
His heart speaks to my heart (speaks to your heart) because we’re inspired by the same Energy That Connects Us.
And that energy never runs out or goes away completely. Even if it takes awhile… Paulo Coelho demonstrates, over and over again, that it’s never too late to get started.
until next week, alycia buenger
Why I Write Stories
I started writing stories when I was young. My mom has file folders packed with elementary school essays and journaling pages.
I liked writing stories because I could control the ending (or, the whole thing really).
I especially liked writing the kinds of stories that have no problems, no misunderstandings, and no climax - just happy, happy, happy from beginning to end.
Which is why my stories were boring as hell.
I understand that our most challenging moments, and the big feelings that follow, are required for Real Life. I understand that’s what makes the good moments even better.
I understand, intellectually.
I started writing stories when I was young. My mom has file folders packed with elementary school essays and journaling pages.
I liked writing stories because I could control the ending (or, the whole thing really).
I especially liked writing the kinds of stories that have no problems, no misunderstandings, and no climax - just happy, happy, happy from beginning to end.
Which is why my stories were boring as hell.
I understand that our most challenging moments, and the big feelings that follow, are required for Real Life. I understand that’s what makes the good moments even better.
I understand, intellectually.
But I also find it deeply annoying, particularly when I’m inside the hard times. And right now, I am.
Like many of you I’ve been swimming upstream for most of this year.
My anxiety (or, my “dragons” as my kids like to say) reared its head in February, and it's been a bumpy ride since. I was accepted to graduate school, and then I dropped out. We decided to have a third baby, and then I lost the pregnancy.
There’s been sickness, and broken friendships, and big feelings I don’t know what to do with.
(Thank god for my therapist, and my husband, and my personal commitment to sacred practice. But still. It’s been a long year.)
For the last several weeks especially I’ve been inside this hole of anxiety that says: “You have to control everything.
You have to make the scary parts go away, and you do that by controlling what happens next.”
And as we all know by now, controlling everything (or anything) is impossible - and any attempt to make it reality only prolongs the hard moments of suffering.
I know this, intellectually.
But my body in its Wholeness is not only intellectual: my physical body needs a physical reminder that it’s safe, my mental body needs a mental reminder that it’s okay to rest, and my spiritual body needs a loving reminder that it’s important here, too (and not forgotten or ignored).
So, today I leave you with a few practices I’ve found helpful lately - this is a series of “Self-Compassion Breaks” by Dr. Kristin Neff. (I particularly enjoy the Tender Self-Compassion Break, the General Self-Compassion Break, and the Loving-Kindness Meditation.)
And some good news:
I no longer write stories full of happy beginnings, middles, and ends.
I just write.
I write not to control the story, but to tell mine from within and around the good and hard moments.
I write to process what’s happening, to move through big feelings, to tell the whole story as it relates to my life (which often allows me to relate to the whole story as it relates to your life).
I hope that’s what keeps us both connected - to ourselves, to each other, to the earth, to the collective.
with so much love, alycia buenger
An Artist Residency In Motherhood #ARiM
an artist residency in motherhood - “a self-directed, open-source artist residency to empower and inspire artists [writers] who are also mothers,” created by Lenka Clayton
the (original) purpose -
My reasons for adopting the Artist Residency in Motherhood framework are these: to embrace working and creating within my everyday life; to redefine the “limitations” of motherhood, work, and creating by earning a sustainable income for my family - and enjoying the process; to explore my relationship with schooling, education, learning, and teaching by unschooling my kids at home and deschooling myself within our shared life.
Following my hard “break-up” with graduate school, I want to create my own education at home and inside motherhood - while also sharing the process and the results publicly.
an artist residency in motherhood
“a self-directed, open-source artist residency to empower and inspire artists [writers] who are also mothers,” created by Lenka Clayton
the why: purpose + intentions
My experience inside motherhood is one of friction: I am deeply fulfilled by those perfect moments with my girls, the deepening connection to my partner, the pure joy that sneaks through the cracks of even our hardest days; and yet I’m always trying to “sneak” more time for myself, more time for my work, more time for important and frivolous things I enjoy.
Within my role as caretaker to my girls and partner to my husband, I experience the deep inhale of genuine, perfect fulfillment. And. Contrary to the story I inherited (and accepted) about motherhood… It’s not enough.
Care-taking, Self-Fulfilling Work. Neither is enough on its own.
Loving my people is part of what makes me a Creator; and honoring my creative work is part of what makes me Loving.
So, if I understand this consciously - why do I feel GUILTY about it?
Modern-day mothers are generally handed a list of expectations that include primary caretaking, household management, and paid work (whether or not it’s fulfilling, whether or not it pays equivalent). And often, we’re expected to neglect our bodies, our hearts, and our dreams for our care-taking and work responsibilities.
Because that’s how it’s always been done. Or so it seems…
Where do these expectations come from? How do we unshackle ourselves, and each other?
Because this isn’t the legacy I want to leave my daughters; and it’s not the one I want to accept for myself.
And so, we begin.
[NOTE: It’s important to say here that many of the challenges mothers face highlight structural problems within our modern society. But until we change our laws to allow for working parenthood, until we change our laws to adequately support families of all kinds, until we change the conversation surrounding expectations of and support for women, mothers, families, and children… solving this problem falls inside the domain of individual families. Which is complete bullshit and further highlights discrimination of minority groups. But this is the kind of bullshit I’m prepared to fight against now, so my daughters’ generation can reap the benefits later.]
{ORIGINAL} PURPOSE:
to redefine the “limitations” of motherhood, work, and creating by prioritizing my mind/body/soul wellness within and around creative work for income; embracing working and creating within everyday life with kids; and earning a sustainable income for my family - while documenting (and enjoying!) the process
{ORIGINAL} INTENTIONS:
prioritize my health, my rest, my play
expand my creative capacity for both daily life + creative work by exploring my relationship with time
balance work with life by incorporating both and reframing my experience of “work”
devote myself to the process of creating (more than the product)
earn enough+ with my creative work to fully support my family + my business
the how: limits + commitments
Our culture’s obsession with productivity-at-all-costs is at odds with my experience of creative work (particularly as a mother working alongside my kids) and with my desire to prioritize the process and experience of creating more than the product and result.
For this project, I will not remain inside a perpetual state of production; instead, I will embrace the natural process of creating - which includes rest and work.
Our Natural Creative Cycles follow the seasons of the year, the phases of the moon and the menstrual cycle, the universal energy of the days of the week, and the energy of the body within a single day. These will be my guide.
I will also distance this project from the algorithms of social media by documenting my creative process and its results inside this online studio (NOW CLOSED)
While I will maintain some interaction with Instagram and Pinterest, these will not be my primary places for documentation - because my experience with social media is one of frustration and required distance.
{ORIGINAL} LIMITATIONS:
I am the primary caretaker of our two children and responsible for the majority of our family’s income. I can plan for 1 full-day and 1 half-day of childcare support from my partner, plus 1 half-day of childcare support from my parents or in-laws; but my working schedule must remain flexible to expand or contract with the needs of my family. I can plan to financially support my family with my work as a copywriter; but this requires all of my available working time.
{ORIGINAL} QUESTIONS
how can I expand time within my everyday work-life?
how can I expand my income within “limited” time?
how can I create space for myself AND my creative work?
{ORIGINAL} COMMITMENTS:
personal commitments to my health, my time, my family: daily nourishment, daily/weekly/monthly routines + rituals for support, frequent time within Nature, daily movement
devote 2 full-days to copywriting work and 1 full-day to creative work for #ARiM
write everyday: free write and/or work in the early mornings; document my cycle, my body, my experience in the evenings
document in-process creative work privately inside this now-closed studio
document completed creative work publicly on instagram, my website, and via email
submit 10 articles for publication
This is a 3-year project (10 months per year) starting September 15, 2021 through August 31, 2024.
the what: projects (ongoing)
create sanctuary (online course)
create align (online course)
create inspire (monthly online workshops)
create unravel your days with Kati Overmier (podcast, online studio, printed planning journal)
create reframe (prints of my writing)
create art / earrings for sale
take a dance class
take a pottery class
support -
This residency is currently an unfunded project. Any amount of financial or other support is greatly appreciated. Read more about how you can financially support my work right here.