Why I Quit Marketing On Social Media
Social media is considered “the” place to share your work on the internet, right? This is partly because nearly everyone uses social media (making it, quite literally, the biggest and farthest-reaching “social network”) and partly because it’s “free” …as long as you’re willing to sacrifice your time to the algorithm and some personal information for big-spending advertisers.
But marketing my work on social media has never worked for me. Not for my money-making work and not for my mind/body/soul.
And here’s why.
At the beginning of this month, I quit marketing my work on social media.
To be clear: this wasn’t a big stretch! I haven’t talked about my work much more than “randomly” (and social media has never helped me sign clients).
Still, it’s considered “the” place to share your work on the internet, right? This is partly because nearly everyone uses social media (making it, quite literally, the biggest and farthest-reaching “social network”) and partly because it’s “free” …as long as you’re willing to sacrifice your time to the algorithm and some personal information for big-spending advertisers.
But marketing my work on social media has never worked for me. Not for my money-making work and not for my mind/body/soul.
And here’s why -
#1. Finding clients through social media is rare within my industry.
I’m a writer and a copywriter. I work with people who use social media for marketing; but it doesn’t attract those same clients to my work.
Instead, and like many service providers, my work is primarily referral-based: If a previous client shares her results with a friend, that friend is more likely to reach out for help (v. an Instagram follower who finds my work through a hashtag browse).
Of course, this isn’t the case for every industry (even for every writer). And Instagram says it’s committed to supporting creators in 2022. But it seems to be the case for me!
#2. The life of a social media post (on Facebook and Instagram) is severely limited - sometimes to as little as one hour. Which makes it far less fruitful in the long-term.
If your post on Instagram doesn’t receive “good” engagement within the hour it's posted, the algorithm won’t share your post - even within your followers’ feeds! This means you have to post the right kind of image, with the right kind of words, at the right time of day just to have a chance for visibility.
Even the sound of this is exhausting to me.
And this doesn’t even touch on the topic of how distracted people are within that hour of your “best engagement” period! Even if someone sees or reads your post, it’s unlikely to make them stop and think… let alone follow and support.
Alternatively, Pinterest and YouTube allow for long-term searchable content. (These platforms are not considered social media, though I think it’s vital to point out their use of similar algorithms.)
And this, I think, is what I need right now (and what I’ll attempt to create with my non-social media marketing strategy): internet platforms used to archive my work, publicly.
Again, this isn’t the best strategy for every small business creative. Determining what works for you and why is quite individual. That’s a big part of my work with clients.
#3. To that point, social media requires a lot of creative energy to keep up with an endlessly changing algorithm.
This isn’t inherently bad; if you enjoy creating for social media platforms, it’s a great way to engage with people around the globe.
But if you’re like me and you don’t particularly enjoy creating Reels and regularly posting to Stories, creating for social media doesn’t provide the same kind of rejuvenative energy. (And really, that should be the goal: creating in ways that support you.)
Of course, some people have created intentional balance with social media. Many of my business friends and clients have created time-boundaries with social media (i.e. only spending one hour per day on all platforms) or social sabbaths (i.e. no social media on the weekends).
I’ve tried those things and failed (many times). Which leaves me with few options but to exit the platform - at least for now.
#4. The consumption of social media is well-documented to encourage unhealthy and unrealistic comparison that leaves us feeling more depressed and anxious. (Visit TheSocialDilemma.com to learn specifics.)
Of course, this wasn’t the original purpose of social media: it was designed to expand our social life in ways that in-person events can’t.
But with a business model that prioritizes big-spending advertisers and an algorithm that intentionally creates screen addiction, the original purpose for community-building platforms feels nearly long-gone.
Even without the research, my personal experience has changed lately.
At the beginning of the pandemic, social media helped me keep in touch with everyone I wasn’t seeing in-person. Now it feels like an easy distraction from the hard parts of life I sometimes want to avoid.
The decision to quit marketing my work on social media is one I’ve struggled to make for years.
Social media acts as my primary distraction to what-matters-most; and yet, it’s full of small business owners I choose to support and friendships I wouldn’t have otherwise: But how can I drop the parts about social media that I don’t like… and keep the good parts?
I couldn’t find a solution other than dropping social media entirely and engaging with friends and community in different ways - by visiting our local artist studio and directly writing to dear friends.
But I’m curious, whether you use social media or not: How have you grappled with your questions around these platforms?
until next week, alycia buenger
An Artist Residency In Motherhood #ARiM
an artist residency in motherhood - “a self-directed, open-source artist residency to empower and inspire artists [writers] who are also mothers,” created by Lenka Clayton
the (original) purpose -
My reasons for adopting the Artist Residency in Motherhood framework are these: to embrace working and creating within my everyday life; to redefine the “limitations” of motherhood, work, and creating by earning a sustainable income for my family - and enjoying the process; to explore my relationship with schooling, education, learning, and teaching by unschooling my kids at home and deschooling myself within our shared life.
Following my hard “break-up” with graduate school, I want to create my own education at home and inside motherhood - while also sharing the process and the results publicly.
an artist residency in motherhood
“a self-directed, open-source artist residency to empower and inspire artists [writers] who are also mothers,” created by Lenka Clayton
the why: purpose + intentions
My experience inside motherhood is one of friction: I am deeply fulfilled by those perfect moments with my girls, the deepening connection to my partner, the pure joy that sneaks through the cracks of even our hardest days; and yet I’m always trying to “sneak” more time for myself, more time for my work, more time for important and frivolous things I enjoy.
Within my role as caretaker to my girls and partner to my husband, I experience the deep inhale of genuine, perfect fulfillment. And. Contrary to the story I inherited (and accepted) about motherhood… It’s not enough.
Care-taking, Self-Fulfilling Work. Neither is enough on its own.
Loving my people is part of what makes me a Creator; and honoring my creative work is part of what makes me Loving.
So, if I understand this consciously - why do I feel GUILTY about it?
Modern-day mothers are generally handed a list of expectations that include primary caretaking, household management, and paid work (whether or not it’s fulfilling, whether or not it pays equivalent). And often, we’re expected to neglect our bodies, our hearts, and our dreams for our care-taking and work responsibilities.
Because that’s how it’s always been done. Or so it seems…
Where do these expectations come from? How do we unshackle ourselves, and each other?
Because this isn’t the legacy I want to leave my daughters; and it’s not the one I want to accept for myself.
And so, we begin.
[NOTE: It’s important to say here that many of the challenges mothers face highlight structural problems within our modern society. But until we change our laws to allow for working parenthood, until we change our laws to adequately support families of all kinds, until we change the conversation surrounding expectations of and support for women, mothers, families, and children… solving this problem falls inside the domain of individual families. Which is complete bullshit and further highlights discrimination of minority groups. But this is the kind of bullshit I’m prepared to fight against now, so my daughters’ generation can reap the benefits later.]
{ORIGINAL} PURPOSE:
to redefine the “limitations” of motherhood, work, and creating by prioritizing my mind/body/soul wellness within and around creative work for income; embracing working and creating within everyday life with kids; and earning a sustainable income for my family - while documenting (and enjoying!) the process
{ORIGINAL} INTENTIONS:
prioritize my health, my rest, my play
expand my creative capacity for both daily life + creative work by exploring my relationship with time
balance work with life by incorporating both and reframing my experience of “work”
devote myself to the process of creating (more than the product)
earn enough+ with my creative work to fully support my family + my business
the how: limits + commitments
Our culture’s obsession with productivity-at-all-costs is at odds with my experience of creative work (particularly as a mother working alongside my kids) and with my desire to prioritize the process and experience of creating more than the product and result.
For this project, I will not remain inside a perpetual state of production; instead, I will embrace the natural process of creating - which includes rest and work.
Our Natural Creative Cycles follow the seasons of the year, the phases of the moon and the menstrual cycle, the universal energy of the days of the week, and the energy of the body within a single day. These will be my guide.
I will also distance this project from the algorithms of social media by documenting my creative process and its results inside this online studio (NOW CLOSED)
While I will maintain some interaction with Instagram and Pinterest, these will not be my primary places for documentation - because my experience with social media is one of frustration and required distance.
{ORIGINAL} LIMITATIONS:
I am the primary caretaker of our two children and responsible for the majority of our family’s income. I can plan for 1 full-day and 1 half-day of childcare support from my partner, plus 1 half-day of childcare support from my parents or in-laws; but my working schedule must remain flexible to expand or contract with the needs of my family. I can plan to financially support my family with my work as a copywriter; but this requires all of my available working time.
{ORIGINAL} QUESTIONS
how can I expand time within my everyday work-life?
how can I expand my income within “limited” time?
how can I create space for myself AND my creative work?
{ORIGINAL} COMMITMENTS:
personal commitments to my health, my time, my family: daily nourishment, daily/weekly/monthly routines + rituals for support, frequent time within Nature, daily movement
devote 2 full-days to copywriting work and 1 full-day to creative work for #ARiM
write everyday: free write and/or work in the early mornings; document my cycle, my body, my experience in the evenings
document in-process creative work privately inside this now-closed studio
document completed creative work publicly on instagram, my website, and via email
submit 10 articles for publication
This is a 3-year project (10 months per year) starting September 15, 2021 through August 31, 2024.
the what: projects (ongoing)
create sanctuary (online course)
create align (online course)
create inspire (monthly online workshops)
create unravel your days with Kati Overmier (podcast, online studio, printed planning journal)
create reframe (prints of my writing)
create art / earrings for sale
take a dance class
take a pottery class
support -
This residency is currently an unfunded project. Any amount of financial or other support is greatly appreciated. Read more about how you can financially support my work right here.
The Fallacy of Consistent Marketing
There's this "marketing rule" that says the key to business success is -
My commitment to CONSISTENCY.
Which makes sense, kind of: the more consistently I show up in your social media feed, the more consistently you'll think about my work. The more consistently I send valuable content to your inbox, the more consistently you'll have the opportunity to purchase.
(Which is also to say, I’ve failed on all counts - and will likely continue to fail.)
There's this "marketing rule" that says the key to business success is -
My commitment to CONSISTENCY.
Which makes sense, kind of: the more consistently I show up in your social media feed, the more consistently you'll think about my work. The more consistently I send valuable content to your inbox, the more consistently you'll have the opportunity to purchase.
(Which is also to say, I’ve failed on all counts - and will likely continue to fail.)
BUT, let's also remember that business owners, big and small, who rely on online marketing are primarily dealing with social media algorithms that prioritize whichever companies pay for ads (and pay the most for ads).
And we're all dealing with information overload, inside our email inbox and everywhere else.
(If you’re not sure about this (yet), watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix for a deep dive into the incredible problems with technology companies.)
Is CONSISTENCY really what people want? (Is it, maybe, what we’ve been “trained” to want?)
The idea behind this “Rule of Marketing” is that a business owner's consistency invites customer/client loyalty - because "consistency builds trust," right?
But actually, customer/client loyalty (like all kinds of loyalty) stems from the trust that develops as you follow-through with your promises - whatever they are.
What if I choose to make different promises to you than "consistency"?
What if I promise to take care of myself first, so whatever I create for you is top-notch?
What if I promise to hold boundaries with social media - for myself and my family, but also so that YOU can do the same?
What if I promise to "market to you the way I’d like to receive marketing"? (See what I did with that Golden Rule, Mom?)
My battle with consistency is ongoing (I’ve previously written about my devotion to practice v. my consistency)
But I’m starting to understand that my consistency is “allowed” to wane, much like the moon is “allowed” to wane for a quarter of every month.
Like the moon, I have phases of my month, my week, my day. Like the moon, I have phases of my effort, my enthusiasm, my confidence.
And this is our Natural Creative Cycle - it mirrors that of the Moon:
the new moon: for resting, intending
the waxing moon: for planting, embracing
the full moon: for growing, enjoying
the waning moon: for harvesting, releasing
Like the moon, I am forever reliable, trustworthy - but never consistently the “same.” Like the moon, I am always changing, always moving in cycle.
That’s the kind of consistency I hope you embody, too: the kind that’s not “sameness” but evolution.
So here’s your invitation (if you need one) to wane, to rest, to release if necessary - or to embrace, to grow, to enjoy.
You, like me, mirror the phases of the moon; and I hope you, like me, hold reverence for all of us.
If you’re interested in embodying your Natural Creative Cycles (in business and in life), you might consider one-to-one Copy Coaching with me!
Orient Toward Desire + Calibrate Often
Since the first quarantine in March, I’ve been recalibrating how I spend my days - often.
Most recently I’ve switched my working hours from afternoon naptime to before-the-kids-wake-up mornings.
Because the way we feel inside daily life is what informs everything else: how we interact with our kids, how productive we can be with work, whether or not we show up to our practice.
Which is to say, it’s important. Most important, maybe.
Let’s talk about the difference between ORIENTING your life + CALIBRATING your days.
Since the first quarantine in March, I’ve been recalibrating how I spend my days - often.
Most recently I’ve switched my working hours from afternoon naptime to before-the-kids-wake-up mornings.
Because the way we feel inside daily life is what informs everything else: how we interact with our kids, how productive we can be with work, whether or not we show up to our practice.
Which is to say, it’s important. Most important, maybe.
It’s particularly important inside the uncertainty of 2020 - because many of us are reorienting life and/or recalibrating days, regularly.
But what’s that mean, really?
To ORIENT your life toward what you desire means to identify what you want (short-term OR long-term) and face that direction.
This requires looking back to where you’ve been + looking down to where you are as ANCHOR points; and then facing your hopeful future.
To CALIBRATE your days means to embody the work it takes to get there.
This happens regularly: if we know where we’re going, we can take a few steps forward, consider whether that’s still the right direction, and then determine what’s next.
For me “recalibrating” toward the vision shows up most often in how I spend my time.
I determine whether the work I’m doing now is actually productive.
I decide whether my daily busy-ness is in alignment with my Heart.
I write down everything I’ve done + everything I haven’t done (which often helps me change up our daily schedule).
If it sounds “easy," I can assure you it's not (for me).
Simple maybe, but challenging in the sense that it requires my best effort… something I running out of, quickly.
Still, it's the best I've got right now: to anchor myself within this moment and face the direction that's calling my name (even if I'm not yet ready to step forward).
xx, alycia buenger
How To Create In Alignment With Your Cycle
Your creative energy ebbs and flows, right? But it's (likely) not random.
There's a pattern, a rhythm.
And it starts with the body, and her natural creative cycle: menstruation is like WINTER; ovulation is like SUMMER.
Your creative energy ebbs and flows, right? But it's (likely) not random.
There's a pattern, a rhythm.
And it starts with the body, and her natural creative cycle:
menstruation is like WINTER,
the follicular phase is like SPRING,
ovulation is like SUMMER,
the luteal phase is like FALL.
Watch the video (above) for a full explanation - and then share your thoughts in the comments below!
xx, alycia buenger
The Other Side Of Abundance (let's talk about collective wealth)
Our abundance conversation should forever consider what's necessary for the collective.
By which I mean, the global breakdown of wealth is, at the very least UNFAIR - but also deeply + intentionally OPPRESSIVE.
We've created this "value" system that says the more money you have, the more valuable you are to society - but also you have zero rights to a basic standard of living, whether or not you work (and I haven't even touched the conversation of whether or not people *can* work, or what's considered "work" worth pay to our current world).
ABUNDANCE is a hot topic in the world of online business (for better, and worse).
If you consider SEO keywords for even a second: anything to do with money gets all kinds of clicks. Because people want more of it!
And many of us need more.
BUT/AND.
It cannot only be about financial abundance for individuals.
Our abundance conversation should forever consider what's necessary for the collective.
By which I mean, the global breakdown of wealth is, at the very least UNFAIR - but also deeply + intentionally OPPRESSIVE.
We've created this "value" system that says the more money you have, the more valuable you are to society - but also you have zero rights to a basic standard of living, whether or not you work (and I haven't even touched the conversation of whether or not people *can* work, or what's considered "work" worth pay to our current world).
AND, to say one person is "worth" more than another? That my work is "worth" a different amount than yours?
Or to say that each person's ABUNDANCE is simply a matter of working harder, manifesting more intentionally, etc.
That's the unfair and oppressive system at work - one we've also imposed on ourselves + each other.
Changing this system starts, I think, with envisioning abundance on a micro-level: What amount of money do you need, and WHY? What does that money provide for you and your family?
(This is the difference between, “I want to make X amount” + “I want to afford ballet lessons for my daughter, date night dinners, and worry-free trips to the grocery-store.” The more specific the better!)
If you can envision your abundance first (which, for many oppressed groups is the opposite of familiar), you can also envision abundance for the collective; and that's the real work.
Interested in diving deeper? APPLY to work with me 1:1. where we embody this core concept of creative small business + ethical marketing.
Lead With Desire: How To Do MORE Of What You Want
Some of the greatest teachers of our time (Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map, all of Glennon Doyle’s words) - they say, “Desire is what leads us deeper into ourselves!”
And that’s my experience, too.
LEAD WITH DESIRE is one of the key parts of my work: first, because women often don't (and why not experiment!); second, because that's what's divinely gifted as guidance in the right direction.
The basic rule is this: Ritualize what supports you (i.e. do more of what you desire). And limit what doesn't (i.e. do less of what you don't).
Once upon a time I had an incredible therapist (who I hated) who said, “What you need is a box full of supports, metaphorical and in real-life, to keep you grounded when you’re ready to fly away.”
At the time I thought, “NO, what I need is a brain transplant, because I can’t escape the hard-ness of motherhood, and maybe, probably, another brain might?”
She was right, though.
What I needed was a go-to list of what supports me: When I’d rather eat ice-cream than write about my feelings, When I’d rather binge Netflix than roll out my mat, When I’d rather walk away from my family than plow through another hard conversation.
(If this all sounds rather serious, that’s because life is serious business. Fun maybe, but serious - and sometimes harder than we imagine possible.)
Quite frankly, I’m still not great with this practice.
I have my list, I have my box full of items that remind me I’m a Good, Whole person with a Soul-Purpose and a long, long list of reasons to show up.
But still, my practice is… a practice.
The important realization here is that: Everything inside my “support system box” is everything I love most.
And holy smokes, if that’s not the solution to the problem in the first place.
Do MORE of what you want, MORE of what you deep-down desire… and LESS of what you don’t.
Some of the greatest teachers of our time (Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map, all of Glennon Doyle’s words) - they say, “Desire is what leads us deeper into ourselves!”
And that’s my experience, too.
LEAD WITH DESIRE is one of the key parts of my work: first, because women often don't (and why not experiment!); second, because that's what's divinely gifted as guidance in the right direction.
Thoughts on this? Share ‘em in the comments below!
xx, alycia buenger
When There's Never Enough Time For You
I’ve felt it. You’ve likely felt it.
“There’s not enough time for me.”
Because there really isn’t - not inside a system that devalues a woman’s time.
We might have the same number of HOURS in the day, but not everyone is deemed the same amount of VALUABLE by society (and not everyone has the same number of OPPORTUNITIES to use time freely).
I’ve felt it. You’ve likely felt it.
“There’s not enough time for me.”
Because there really isn’t - not inside a system that devalues a woman’s time.
We might have the same number of HOURS in the day, but not everyone is deemed the same amount of VALUABLE by society (and not everyone has the same number of OPPORTUNITIES to use time freely).
Mothers especially are asked to “hold down the fort” while the world bumps along around us, without us, overtop us (even if we follow the ways of income-making).
I want to do my part in changing that.
And I have a twofold mission: To consciously UNRAVEL inside day-to-day life (expand our experience of time with short-and-sweet, devoted practice!); and to consciously question the system that asks us to de-value our time currency and squeeze into smaller and smaller spaces.
We practice together. We question together. We unravel together.
My work exists to support you in putting more of yourself inside your days - so that you’re no longer squeezing in time for yourself between or after.
Because you are priority - if not inside the world, inside this space.
This is my offering to you, and to those who feel the “not enough time” mantra of modern-day society.
It’s where I make my art: It’s the place that holds my writing + my teaching. It’s birthed within and from my own experience (and now, mixed with yours!)
This is the practice, the answer-seeking, the resting place, the try-and-try again place, the reminder that you can devote yourself to your Self - even when things are harder than hard.
And my hope is that it becomes a community of support along the way.
Check out my latest project: UNRAVEL YOUR DAYS.
xx, alycia buenger